What are the responsibilities and job description for the Head Football Coach position at Virginia Tech Athletics?
If you want to post a funny/sarcastic “job listing” for Virginia Tech’s head coach position (not a real one, since the university controls that), I can help you draft something in a playful tone.
Here’s a mock version you could use for humor (like on social media or as a parody job posting):
Job Title: Head Football Coach – Virginia Tech Hokies
Location: Blacksburg, VA (ZIP: 24060 — but we’ll take wins anywhere)
Salary: Negotiable… but we’ll even pay you in turkey legs at this point.
About Us:
Virginia Tech football used to be scary. Now? Not so much. We’ve managed to turn Lane Stadium’s “Enter Sandman” into “Enter Sad Man.” After another rough start, morale is down, losses are up, and the fan base is desperate.
Job Description:
We’re looking for literally anyone who thinks they can get us to 6 wins and maybe a bowl game. No experience required. Have you won a game of Madden? Perfect. Have you yelled at a TV during a football game? Even better.
Responsibilities:
- Pretend you have an offensive plan.
- Keep fans from leaving at halftime.
- Beat Old Dominion. (Please.)
- Make “Hokie Nation” believe again.
- Bonus points if you can keep Enter Sandman relevant.
Qualifications:
- Breathing.
- Some idea of what football is.
- Ability to say “We’ll get better next week” with a straight face.
- Optional: Actually winning games.
Why Apply?
Because we’ll take anyone. At this point, even a cardboard cutout of Frank Beamer might do better.
Job Type: Full-time
Pay: From $1,000,000.00 per year
Work Location: In person
Salary : $1,000,000